Kiss Us Goodbye
by memyselfandcastle
Summary: *spoiler alert* My take on episode 3x13, and aslo my first fanfic. I think its realistic, and its a "I think this will happen but I really hope it doesn't" kind of thing. PLEASE REVIEW! I will love you forever! 3
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic ever, so it's probably not too great. I tried to stay true to the characters, and since I just had a Castle marathon it should have helped at least a bit. Please review and tell me any grammar/spelling mistakes because I check a billion times but I'm positive there are things I missed. Thanks so much for reading. I don't own Castle or the Castle characters :( and with out further delay... Spoiler Alert!**

At one second it was just an argument, the next his lips pressed against hers and his arms locked around her. She found herself becoming fluid, giving into the kiss, as her arms sprouted up like weeds tangling themselves around his neck so her fingers would tickle the ends of his hair. And, in response, he pressed her even harder to him, as if he could mold two into one with enough pressure.

For one moment they fulfilled a drawn out dream, and then Kate woke up. Breaking off the kiss, she stepped back holding Castle at an arm's length away, as if that could truly stop him.

"What… what the hell was that?"

"I thought… well, um" Castle stuttered, "I don't know."

"You don't know?" For some reason this infuriated Kate, "God Castle, you didn't _think? _Of course you didn't, you never think! Why do you always have to screw everything up? Why can't you just leave them how they are? Did you even think about the fact we're both taken? _Us_ doesn't have a chance right now because I have Josh, and you have Gina."

He shutdown. All the life in his eyes drained as Castle painfully responded, "Why can't we have a chance? Gina and I well, we're complicated. We haven't spoken in weeks. Why won't you try to see what's always been there Kate? There has always been something between us, everybody sees it. Why can't you just dip your toes into the water for a turn?"

"I can't," The unwanted tears welled up behind Beckett's eyes, "I can't because I made a commitment to Josh, and I'm not about to end something with a great guy who loves me, and will always be there for me because you want to 'give us a chance'. I see how you are with other women. You haven't had a steady relationship since we've met! I don't want to be just another one of them, and I won't be."

"Kate…"

"God! Stop calling me Kate!"

"Fine, but Beckett I love you. Period. And you know that I would never hurt you. So, as soon as you choose to accept that give me a call, but until then, this is good-bye"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N So, this is super short, I know, but I promise that I'll make the next chapter longer. It just might be a while until its posted. Also, I still don't own Castle. **

Lanie looked at Beckett in disbelief, "Girl! Why did you lie to him about Josh? How long have you guys been through, a month?"

"I couldn't do it." Kate answered almost in a whisper, "I can't do it."

"You almost did last summer, what's so different about now? He hasn't changed, except maybe grown up," Lanie hesitated, "a little bit. You know he cares about you right?"

"God!" Kate fell into her couch, "He told me he loved me."

"What! You did not tell me that! Why didn't you tell me that! Girl, that should have been the first thing out of your mouth after telling me about that kiss. What did you do? Say? Please tell me you didn't just stand there and let him walk away." When Beckett's response was to bury her face into her hands Lanie stood up. "Ok, Coffee? Tea? What do you want to drink?"

"I don't care, just bring whatever." Kate looked up when Lanie walked into the kitchen, "I screwed everything up didn't I?"

Lanie was quiet as she prepared the drinks, but when she came back handing the detective a hot tea she answered, "You didn't screw everything up, and not permanently. Call him."

"What? Lanie, I can't call him. I just told him seven hours ago that we wouldn't work!"

Lanie grabbed Kate's phone and handed it to her, "Too late. It's calling."

Kate put the phone to her ear just in time to hear his voice, "Beckett?"


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: So, I totally lied to you guys... this is not long at all. I tried really hard to get it longer, but I just can't seem to keep it in the right direction, and sorry that it's been so long since my last update. I promise I've been working on it. I have started 12 (no lie) versions of this chapter, and this was the only one I even semi-liked. I'm not making excuses, but I haven't had much time to write because I have finals next week, so I've been studying like no other, and then this story just isn't sticking with me, because at the beginning it was going to be a one-shot, and then by the time I posted it I had a really good idea to keep it going, and then that fell through. So now I'm starting to find a track that I want to go on, but this is all I could get formed right now. I'll update asap, but it probably won't be until next week. sorry! Review Please *puppy dog pout*_

_I still don't own Castle :'( _

_Kate:_

Kate hung up the phone without a reply, and looked up at Lanie. "Why did you do that?"

"Did I miss something?" Lanie asked, "I thought you just said you wanted to fix everything."

"I do," Kate replied, "but I did mean what I said last night. I can't trust him, or I wouldn't be able to in a relationship. He's like an animal, wild and unpredictable, and I don't think I can live with that."

"Girl that's what you need!" Lanie said in exasperation, "You say you want someone who is steady and constant. Well, that'd just be a male you, but you need someone wild, inconsistent, passionate, someone a bit like writer boy. Who happens to be calling you back right now." Lanie pointed down to Kate's phone which was buzzing on the couch that Kate had thrown it on.

After picking it up and clicking end, Kate looked up at Lanie, "I can't do it, and I'm not going to. I already have enough going on with my mother's case. I'm not going to deal with all this."

"You don't know what you want, do you girl?"

"Not a clue."

Castle:

"She called, and now she won't pick up." The writer set his phone down on the counter, and looked up at his mother and daughter.

"Give her time, honey" Martha reassured her son, "It's obvious she shares affection for you; just give her time to accept that."

"If only you saw her last night, heard what she said. Her bullets aren't only shot by guns, maybe if I call her again…" He reached for his phone only to have Alexis snatch it off the table first.

"No," She said, "you've already called her about fifteen times; you're edging the border of obsessive. Listen to Gram, give her time, she'll come around. I know she will." Alexis kissed her father on the head and then began to walk upstairs

"Alexis," Castle called out, "my phone?"

"Oh yeah!" She threw it down to him, but the pass was too short, and the phone landed on the floor shattering the screen the phone died. "Sorry!"

"Well at least we don't have to worry about him calling Beckett anymore." Martha said.


	4. Chapter 4

**ok, ok, ok, I get it you all hate me... I probably should have told you I'm awful at finishing stories... but I finally wrote this, and I know it's still short, and get's absolutley nothing done, but hey! I wrote... and I'm really sorry I haven't written in a while (please forgive me!). and I still don't own Castle :(**

"Why won't you talk about it?" Castles eyes bore into Kate as she attempted to keep her mind focused on paper work.

Beckett looked up in defeat "Talk about what Castle?"

"Exactly what you're not talking about now."

"Castle," she sighed, "I'm not talking about a lot of things right now. Please, let me get back to my paper work."

Castle lowered to a whisper."I kissed you," it surprised Kate how bluntly he phrased it, "and you can't deny that you kissed me back" his eyes filled with an emotion resembling...fear as he finished his direct confrontation, "tell me you haven't thought about it once since it happened."

"Castle, it doesn't matter if I've thought about it since because it's not going to happen again."

Castles force rose in exasperation "why the hell not?"

"Castle," Kate kept her voice at a whisper, "go home. Cool down. I will stop by after work. Then we will talk."

"Fine," Castle stood up and grabbed his coat off the back of his chair, "I'll see you then."  
Kate watched as he left, and thought over his last words to her, his voice, which lingered in her mind, echoed cold, distance, and hurt.

The couple hours until lunch flew by in minutes, much to Kate's despair. She called Laine canceling their lunch plans. Castle deserved her lunch hour at least, didn't he?

Beckett sat in a small diner, the back booth was hidden in the shadows and she pressed her body into the corner. She warmed her hands with a ceramic coffee mug. The air she breathed was tainted with the rich smells of fried diner food. She shifted in her seat, and to an outsider she would have looked aggravated or impatient, but her stomach was clinched in a tight knot, steadily waiting in anticipation. The bell from the diner door rang shattering the silence that gripped the room. Beckett sucked in a deep breath before looking up to see Castle walk in.


End file.
